I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear enjoying life
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear enjoying myself in the moment
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define ‘enjoyment’ within ‘getting recognition for my hard work and for my life’ by other people
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that ‘life is not meant to be enjoyed’, ‘it is meant to work’
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel proud of myself when i have been working hard and when i have accomplished a task/job/assignment within believing that i have proven my worth in this world and thus i can feel good about my existence here – by believing that my purpose in life is to work and ‘achieve goals’ and not to simply live
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look down on beings that don’t work, that don’t DO anything by judging them as ‘a freeloader’ and ‘lazy’, that I have connected with a negative energetic charge, as judgments that i have copied from my parents and grandparents – wherein i believe that i am superior to those that ‘don’t do anything’ because I have allowed myself to believe that the ‘values’ of my family are real – instead of realizing that they are but beliefs and have absolutely nothing to do with reality that is HERE, as these beliefs are completely one-dimensional and ego-based wherein the entirety of reality is not considered, only the personal experience within and as the family-construct
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself with the belief that i have to work to prove my worth and value in this world, so that i can prove that i am worthy of existing to ‘other people’ as ‘my family’ – within and as the fear of being judged by them as ‘lazy’ and ‘freeloader’ as judgments that they often placed on other people that in their eyes were not ‘productive enough’ and were not ‘effective/efficient workers’ and were therefore inferior
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being judged as lazy because i fear experiencing the negative energetic charge that i have assigned to this word as what i copied from my family
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the word ‘lazy’
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear relaxing here in the moment because i fear that my environment, as my family’, will judge me as ‘lazy’ – based on experiences/memories in my life wherein my parents judged me as ‘lazy’ because in their eyes i wasn’t doing enough and wasn’t working and thus i was apparently ‘inferior’ and ‘bad’
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if i do not work to prove my value and worth to other people, that i am ‘bad’ – as a belief that i have copied from my family as I often witnessed how my parents and grandparents judged other people within a negative energetic value/charge because they did not work
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my worth and value and to define the value and worth of life within working and doing things in this world – and thus getting recognition from my environment for the work that i have done
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from value and worth by defining value and worth within working, doing things and getting recognition from my environment for the work that i have done
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the energetic experience of guilt with ‘not working’ and ‘not doing anything/performing a task’ – as how i reacted when my parents told me that i am lazy because i am not working and that i have to do something, anything but sit in front of the television all day, because that is apparently ‘bad’
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within the belief that ‘life is not meant to be enjoyed’ and to therefore fear relaxing, being here within and as the moment unconditionally as me
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the feeling and belief that i constantly have to do something – and therein constantly experience stress and anxiety within myself
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i am superior to those that don’t work or work less than me and that i am inferior to those that work more than me – based on the belief that the value of life is determined through how much a being works that i have copied from my family
i forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to therefore believe that those starving people in Africa, or the poor people that i see sitting on the side of the street, have it coming to them and that it is their fault that they are in that situation because they don’t work enough and they are ‘lazy’ – and to therefore feel superior to them – instead of placing myself in the shoes of every being in this world and realizing myself as one and equal with all of existence here and not just a pre-programmed robot that simply lives out a culturally designed program within and as the illusion of superiority as the ego of the mind
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within and as my family and within the ‘value-system’ of my family as the belief that working is good and not working is bad and that i must work to prove my worth in existence, thus existing in constant fear, anxiety and stress as the fear of being judged as ‘bad’ and to thus be rejected by my family – instead of standing within and as oneness and equality as the self-directive principle of myself as life, as self-enjoyment and unconditional self-expression in each and every moment, within and as the realization that that is really ‘what life is all about’ as ‘what is best for all life’, and within the realization that the desire to work in order to apparently ‘prove my worth’ is an ego-desire within the belief that i am important and special, wherein i want to go to heaven and be seen by ‘God’ as ‘good’
i forgive myself that i haven’t allowed myself to realize that the belief that i have to work hard to prove that i am worthy of life and to get recognition from other people is a pre-programmed belief wherein i exist as a slave to consciousness as empty belief-systems that don’t actually make sense and that aren’t actually real as they only exist in the realm of the mind, which has nothing to do with life here as it only evolves around this fake, illusory idea that i am in some way special and important and that what i DO here in this world is in some way important and special, which isn’t actually so
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word ‘lazy’ by fearing it, based on memories of my father calling me ‘lazy’ and telling me that i have to work, wherein i basically feared being rejected by my father – instead of realizing that my father’s expression towards me is the expression of who/what he has allowed himself to become as what he has allowed to exist within himself as fears and beliefs, that he also copied from his parents, which don’t actually have anything to do with me
i forgive myself that i haven’t allowed myself to realize myself as one and equal with my father by reacting to his expression with fear, thus copying his beliefs and fears, becoming a mind consciousness system/robot, living out the beliefs and fears of the previous generations within and as the illusory belief that i am special and important as the ego of the mind
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my environment as ‘other people’ by existing within and as the desire to get recognition for my work in this world so that i can feel good about myself, based on the belief that my worth and value is determined within what i DO in this world as what i can SHOW to other people – instead of taking responsibility for my environment as me and direct this reality into a world that is best for all, wherein i do not allow myself to exist within and as or be directed by beliefs such as ‘i must work to prove my worth’ as an ego-belief that exist within and as separation of myself from myself as reality, but wherein I consider all life as me and direct all within and as what is best for all as me
I realize that i am in no way special or important and that the belief that i have to work hard to in some way prove myself as ‘worthy’ to live is an ego belief that only serves the desire of the ego to feel superior to other beings and thus not take responsibility for all life here. If and when i see myself tensing up, worrying about the future and feeling as though i have to do something, judging myself as ‘lazy’ or wanting to prove to other people that i am superior through and within the work that i do and have done – i stop within myself and i breathe and i do not allow myself to be directed by this belief/feeling and i stand constant and stable here, within and as the realization of who i really am as life as oneness and equality – not allowing anything less than what is best for all life to exist within myself and thus allowing myself to relax and enjoy myself as life itself here within and as unconditionality.
I realize that relaxation is who i ‘naturally’ am – and that it is not normal to tense up or be anxious or nervous, as the experience of myself that i have copied from my parents – thus, i trust myself within and as the realization that relaxation is who i am as what is best for all life as me, as the possibility and freedom to express and experience myself as life within and as the living statement of me as oneness and equality as who i really am without beliefs, rules and ‘values’ as an attempt to limit life to serve the ego of the mind as the desire to separate myself from other beings and feel special and important.
I accept myself as the moment here and i relax within and as the realization that i am HERE, one and equal with my environment, one and equal with my parents and grandparents and all of existence here within and as this moment. And i realize that ‘special’ and ‘important’ doesn’t actually exist as they are/were but experiences of the mind as the illusion of separation that i had allowed to exist within myself.
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